Roy and Moss learn football lingo so they can mix in with ‘real’ men. After getting involved with some football fans, things take a turn for the worst. Elsewhere, Jen can’t get over the fact that her boyfriend looks like a magician.
Roy and Moss are in the basement. Moss takes back a stapler which Roy has taken from his desk and they argue over how many staples Roy has used. Harry the postman walks in and Moss starts talking about the football match last night and puts on a deep voice. Harry then leaves and Roy asks Moss what he was doing and Moss shows him a football phrases website. Jen walks in on her way to a date with Mike and both Roy and Moss tell her they think that he looks like a magician.
Jen is on a date with Mike who starts moving the salt pot around weirdly like a magician.
Moss and Roy are in a pub and Roy is jealous that the man across the room is sat with a group of girls. Roy leaves Moss who is counting staples again and goes to sit with a guy who is watching a football match on the TV. Roy starts a conversation with the man who is called Dan using one of the phrases from the website that Moss had shown him earlier. Moss comes over to them and Roy introduces him to Dan and then Dan introduces them both to a group of his friends.
Roy and Moss are sat with the guys watching them having a conversation and laughing every so often. Moss tells Roy they need to talk in private and they leave the table. Moss tells Roy that he’s scared and wants to leave.
Roy and Moss are sat at a football match and are bored. Moss starts the crowd singing and Dan invites them to a poker game. Roy agrees to go but Moss tells him he’s got a date.
Moss is in the basement wearing a neck brace and Roy is wearing sunglasses and complaining about English binge drinking. Jen walks in and tell them that she’s breaking up with Mike then leaves. Roy and Moss discuss the poker game last night and Roy tells Moss that he lost £200. Roy gets a call from Dan demanding his money back and Roy panics but Dan tells him he’s joking.
Roy meets Dan and the guys in a garage somewhere near the gas works and Dan asks him to do a taxi job for him. Behind them the guys are packing guns in bags.
Roy is driving and the guys ask him to pull over and they get out of the car wearing balaclavas. Roy phones Moss and then spots the bank opposite where he’s parked being robbed at gun point. Moss tells him to call the police so he does and then the guys come back telling Roy to drive. Roy drives up a ramp into a waiting truck to avoid the police. They wait it out in the dark listening to the sirens going past them. Roy starts crying.
Jen is at a restaurant with Mike and she has just broken up with him and she tells him that it’s because he looks like a magician. Mike then offers to become a magician so it isn’t weird for Jen.
Roy is watching the guys count money and Moss shows up and starts talking about how Roy phoned the police. The guys start arguing and Roy and Moss escape. The police drive past them and Moss forces Roy against the wall and starts kissing him.
Jen is in her office and Moss is dressed as a magician and doing a card trick really badly. Roy and Moss see Mike running out of Jen’s office crying. Harry the postman comes in asking if they saw the football last night and Roy tells him to go away and goes to see if Jen’s alright. Moss then starts counting a wad of notes from the robbery.
- Postman – John Willie Hopkins
- Dan – Cavan Clerkin
- Luke – Derek Ezenagu
- Barry – Jon Foster
- Michael – Paul Bazely
- The title of the song is a reference to the Devo album “Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo”.
- Moss kisses Roy at the end of the episode to get out of trouble, he again attempts to repeat this tactic during Bad Boys, when he believes the two are being followed by a security guard.
- Despite being credited as a member of the main cast, Douglas does not appear in this episode. This is never explained as to why, as he plays an important role in the following episode. It is possible he is being treated for his gunshot wounds sustained from the previous episode From Hell, when he accidentally shot himself in the leg. This is likely as in the following episode Tramps Like Us, there are no visible signs that he is still injured.
- This episode marks John Willie Hopkins second appearance as the Postman. He previously appeared in the show’s pilot Yesterday’s Jam. This will mean he has the longest gap between appearances, being two series’ and an episode.